{Weekend Challenge} The Power of Touch

While I’m sure  you’ll be hearing more about the dotMOM conference interspersed in posts around here for quite some time, this is the last of my recaps.   And I’m ending with an author I truly respect.   Several months ago, I had the pleasure of reviewing Regret Free Parenting: Raise Good Kids and Know You’re Doing It Right by Catherine Hickem.   As I mentioned in my review, the book was incredible and very encouraging.   Catherine’s children are grown (ages 26 and 27) and her encouragement is not so much about a method of parenting as it is the heart of parenting.

Though my girl is only eleven, I do have an 18-year-old in the house these days and I’m more aware than ever that the teen years are rapidly approaching my sometimes sassy, sometimes sweet daughter.   You can imagine that a session titled, “Thriving in the Teen Years,” taught by an author I deeply admire was a no brainer for me. 

I am so. glad. I went to that session.   I wish I could just quote you the entire hour … because it was pure gold for this momma’s heart.     Instead, I’ll share with you a few highlights and hope that you find them as encouraging as I did.

First of all, Catherine asked us, “When was the last time your teen walked into the room and you smiled just because he or she is  yours?”   Oh wow … she pointed out that we all smile at the silliness and cuteness of our little ones but somehow as they age we forget to allow them to see us smile at just the sight of them.

She encouraged us to “take the time to study your child” and “allow your teen to make mistakes.”   Tough stuff there.   Studying our children requires allowing them to  be themselves and asking them to allow us to join them in their lives rather than simply expecting them to join us in ours.   And it’s hard to let our kids make mistakes!  But if we truly want to see them thrive as adults, they have to learn to fail … and we have to allow them to learn those difficult lessons.

Accept your child!   So often we encourage our children to come to us with their questions and concerns; but, when they do, we accuse and blame rather than listen and encourage.  Teens are vulnerable and scared.   We need to be cautious about the expectations we place on our children.

Give them grace!   Be consistent with your teens but the motivation of our hearts must be grace.

At this point in the session, Catherine asked us to write down ten things we like about one of our children.   After giving us time to write, she asked, “Could your child name ten things you like about him or her?”    Are we doing a good job of speaking encouragement into our children’s lives?

Catherine also spoke about conflict … a reality in homes with teens.   She reminded us to be respectful even in difficult situations.   “They need you to be at your best even when they are at their very worst.”  This momma needed that reminder!!  We need to real and authentic, especially in front of our children.   “They watch what we do – they understand more than we ever recognize.”  Our teens NEED to see a real, authentic relationship with Christ.   Teach them this truth, “It’s not about having a perfect life; it’s about having a perfect God who fills in the broken places.”

I loved this session … and I especially loved that Catherine ended with something so simple we often forget it.   The power of touch.   As our children get older, they move away from our touch … but we must never quit touching.  Tousling hair as he walks by, holding her hand as you pray, tickling them when you go in to say good night … these are important things!   Connect with your children (especially your teens) physically and make a promise that you will never let go first.  No matter how long the hug lasts, you will stand there with your child.

This weekend, my challenge to you – especially you mothers of older kids – touch them!!  Listen to them and let them know you really like them!

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Tomorrow is October 1 … and that means it’s time for

I am excited to spend the month of October offering you nuggets of encouragement from Philippians, “the epistle of joy.”   Every day – even the weekends – there will be a verse or two and a short prayer.   Just a quick moment for you to stop and embrace the joy that is ours as believers.  In addition, I have a 68-page study of Philippians, Joyful Journey,  that will be available for $2.99.  This 28-day study is more in depth.  Easy to use for both individual and small group, each day has a brief study along with questions to consider and a moment of personal reflection.   That download will also be available all month for just $2.99.   I’ll have a preview of one day’s study tomorrow.   Will you join me?  Be sure not to miss a single day of this encouraging look at Philippians by subscribing now!

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Tagged as: books, Catherine Hickem, dotMOM event, Encouragement, Grace, Parenting, teens, tweens